Jeff Foxworthy is hilarous to me. His "You Might Be A Redneck If..." series used to make me laugh so hard I'd cry. Mostly because it was all kinda true and I would witness some of it on a daily basis in my home state of Alabama.
Recently on my long runs I've thought of amusing things that runners do that seem normal to us, but abnormal to the rest of the world. Here's my list, and feel free to add more. I will update the list regularly if I think of something I left off.
You might be a runner if....
- You hesitate to spend $20 on a new pair of heels, but dropping $120 on running shoes is no big deal
- You spend more time on Map My Run, Active.com, and Runners World blogs than you do on Facebook
- Your load of laundry consists of 10 days worth of training gear and sweat towels and only one day's worth of "normal" clothes
- You don't get pedicures because you want to keep the calluses on your feet
- Your number of toes to toenails does not match
- You and the stick and/or foam roller are in a very serious love/hate relationship
- The first thing you think about when traveling out of town is "Where am I going to do my run?"
- You keep a backup pair of running shoes in the trunk of your car, just in case
- You have Nuun tablets and a bottle of ibuprofen on you at all times
- You see hills and get excited at the thought of doing speedwork on them
- You frequently find parts of Gu packets in your washing machine
- You have chaffing scars in strange places from not utilizing your body glide properly
- You find yourself stretching in random establishments, such as in the elevator or in line at the store or while seated at a restaurant
- You are always hungry and feel like at any given moment you could eat an entire pizza by yourself
- You know what a snot rocket is and have mastered it
- You call all of your tank tops "Singlets", even if they're not
- You get extremely angry and feel disrespected if someone calls you a "jogger"
- Your idea of fun is waking up at 5AM on a Saturday, going to the track, and running 400's.... extra bonus fun points if it's raining
- You avoid junk food by looking at the nutrition label and calculating how many miles it would take to burn those calories off
- You want to lose 5 pounds, not to look better in your jeans but so that you'll be able to run faster
- You have at least 6 empty plastic water bottles in your car
- During injury, you're angrier you can't run than at the fact that your body is breaking down
- You can say "fartlek" without giggling like a 10 year old
- You have a new definition to everyday words. To you, PR does not mean public relations, a chip does not mean food, IT does not mean information technology, Splits does not mean something you do in gymnastics, and Winning the Lottery does not mean hitting the jackpot
- You get jealous when you're driving in your car and go by a group of runners
- You mention that you're doing an easy 7-miler today, and you're serious
- You plan your vacations around races in various parts of the world
- You've been "high" but never done drugs
- 6 AM is sleeping in