30 Is The New Black

With a sea of emotions, the big milestone birthday has almost officially arrived.

 

That time where I always thought I'd have life all figured out and everything would be perfect.

 Should I rejoice that the awkwardness of my twenties are over? Or panic as I kiss my youthfulness goodbye in return for a world of 9pm bedtimes and wrinkle creams? 

I accomplished some amazing feats in my twenties. I've traveled all across the country and grown exponentially in my career. I've turned myself into a marathon runner and represent a fantastic brand due to my successes on the pavement. I've modeled luxurious European headpieces. I've done things some people don't get to do in an entire lifetime.

But it wasn't an easy decade.  

As I reflect, I'm fairly certain that your twenties is the equivalent of going through puberty.

At 20, I was a small town college girl with big hopes and dreams, but not a lick of sense. I had no idea what it meant to be responsible. Or to be a good friend. Or how to love. Or sacrifice. Or how to take care of myself.

I was barely 21 when I packed up as much stuff as would fit into my Jetta and moved into a city I had never been to. After a while, I found myself broke and alone. I had two choices: give up and move back to Alabama, or pull myself together, figure it out, and move forward.

So I worked multiple jobs -- one to begin a real career, the others to supplement my career dreams so that I could do things like feed myself and put gas in my car.

I learned responsibility pretty quick.

Through those jobs, I became friends with some incredible people from all facets of life. They took me for who I was, never passed judgement, and was the best support group I'd ever had.

They taught me how to be a good friend.

There are certain inevitable things in life that you can't be prepared for at any age, and death is the hardest of them all by far. When I was 22, I lost my dad to cancer. I found myself at a crossroads again: succumb to a world of sadness, or live happily in his memory and make him proud.

In life and in death, he taught me how to love.

My mid twenties became less about trying to decide what bars to go to every night and more about building a life for myself and taking care of the people that meant the most to me. 

I met Prateek who taught me what it means to sacrifice and prioritize and that sometimes the right decisions are the hardest. 

I find myself now in my late twenties, turning 30 in a few days, surrounded by a solid group of great friends and family and everything I could have ever asked for.

  

The feelings I've been having of aimlessness, inadequacy and insecurity over a stupid number?! What is wrong with me? I should have way bigger fish to fry than that.

   

I don't believe that learning how to be responsible or how to love or how to be a good friend ever really stops. You are constantly discovering yourself, no matter the age. 

I think that maybe your twenties is where you truly learn some of those life principles, and your thirties is where you can actually execute and benefit from them. 

  Growing older is a privilege, not a curse -- and a person's potential has no expiration date.

So, maybe it's not that I'm young or old. Maybe I am just where I need to be.  

Bring it on, 30. 

 

Run Naked - It Adds Color To Your Cheeks

Running naked is extremely liberating.

And by naked, of course, I mean without a Garmin and without headphones and without any other electronic devices.

What did you THINK I meant?! 

I woke up this morning feeling very discombobulated. I had a total mismatched outfit on and looked like a hobo, my Garmin wasn't charged, my arm strap for my iPhone was breaking apart, I couldn't find my lucky necklace, the coffee I made tasted terrible, blah blah blah, bring out the baby violin and play me a ballad.

I'd like to hear Tchaikovsky's Serenade Melancolique, please.

I watched the minutes tick by on the clock and got so fed up that I just ran out the door with nothing but my house key. 

About a half mile in I started to panic --  how far am I supposed to go today? how fast am I going right now? how do I know what time it is so I know when to head back? what if I pass a pack of people and they totally judge my outfit and think I'm a loser?  OMG what if someone attacks me and I don't have my phone to call anyone?! This could be it. My life is over.

The fear started to wear off, and for the next few minutes I started to notice things about running that I had never realized: 

1. I sound like a Clydesdale when I run. Which is no surprise, because it's the same when I walk. I have a heavy heel strike and the word "tip toe" is not in my vocabulary.
2. I breathe very awkwardly. People ask me for tips on breathing methods sometimes, and I never know what to say because I always just kind of....well....do it.  If a fish out of water made a sound, as it were gasping for the sea, that is what I would sound like. Similar to dying, but a little more deep belly, and less wheezy. I was very thrown off by the sound of my own breath, and shiver at the thought of what the runners near me are hearing by the end of my races.
3. Besides my deep belly panting and my heavy feet, there is not much else making noise at 5 o'clock in the morning along my route. It is quiet and eerily peaceful. Every once in a while I heard a Pelican dive bomb into the Bay or would hear some bugs chirping, or hear the wind rustle through the palm trees. The sound of silence was a refreshing change. 

Most importantly, this run reminded me of why I even starting running in the first place. 

Back then, it wasn't about if my outfit matched, or if I had cute shorts that made my butt look good, or what my current pace was, or what my splits were, or the particular order my songs were listed on my playlist based on the terrain/elevation gain I was likely experiencing at that very point in my run. (Yes, I do that. Sometimes.)

Running back then was just about how it made me feel. 

It was oversized T shirts and shorts that were two sizes too big and 5 year old gym shoes from Target. 

I first fell in love with running with no Garmin, no music, no clue or care in the world as to what my splits were, while looking like a hobo. 

I think I re-fell in love with it this morning.

Y'all..... take a chance and run naked sometime. It's unbelievable for the soul. 

Life Advice From Running (Alternate Title: Embracing Your Crazy)

Running and life in general have many similarities. Here are a few of my favorite thoughts, taken from the miles I've spent on the road:

• Sometimes you're going to love it. It's going to make you feel like you're invincible and you're never going to want to stop. Ever.
• Sometimes you're going to hate it. There will be days when hardest thing to do is wake up and step foot out the door. It's going to hurt. It's going to make you depressed. It's going to make you cry and whine and complain. Keep your eyes on the horizon. This too shall pass.
• Every step is valuable. Pace Yourself. Every journey begins with one step. To achieve your goal just put one foot in front of the other. Always remember that slow is considered a speed.
• There will always be someone a step ahead. But also always someone a step behind. Just do your best, that is what's important.
• Don't lose focus because people pass you. It's impossible to compare yourself to others, because each person is unique, has their own goals and has experienced things differently. 
• Appearances can be deceiving. Not only do  the slowest looking people at the starting line end up smoking you at the finish, but sometimes the horizon hides even more challenges. Just when you think you've got it all figured out, you get thrown a curve ball. Around every corner is another corner.
• Pain is temporary. Remember that nothing lasts forever. If it hurts now, it will eventually stop hurting and you will feel better.
• Sometimes people will think you're crazy. That's OK. Everyone is crazy in their own special way. Embrace your crazy.
• It's easier with a goal. You can go about it day to day, wandering the streets, but with a specific goal in mind you can stay focused.
• You can go at it alone, but it's more fun with a friend. Support each other through the ups and downs. Sometimes the most priceless thing you can have is a cheering section.
• Practice makes perfect. Preparation is key - you get out of it what you put into it. Every minute spent practicing helps the end result be successful. The more you do it, the easier it gets.
• Look ahead, but not too far ahead.  Finish lines may appear closer than they really are.
  
• There will always be hills to climb. You won't be climbing forever. Remember what goes up, must come down.
• It's never too late to begin. If you wait until you're "good enough" at something, you'll run out of time. 
• The perfect shoes for you are the ones that fit your feet. If the shoe fits, wear it. Don't be distracted by pretty colors or what the cute athletic salesman is trying to talk you into buying. You know yourself better than anyone, and you know what works for you. Stick with it.
• There's a difference between "I don't want to" and "I can't". Find something that inspires you and motivates you, and cling to it.
• Just because something is simple doesn't mean it's easy. If it were easy, everyone would be doing it.
  
• Sometimes it's just a big mind game. Are you eating properly? Have you practiced enough? Are you dressed appropriately? You are your own worst enemy. Stop thinking so much and embrace the moment. 
• Sometimes you need a break. The worst thing you can do is burn yourself out. Take a step back if you need to recharge and refocus on the big picture.
• Watch where you plant your feet. You don't wanna fall off a curb or end up in a hole.
• Be well rounded. Don't focus on one thing. Embrace different activities. (Cross-training!) 
• Things seem to go better with music. And prayer. And maybe beer. Maybe.
• You are inspirational. Others have inspired you, and whether you realize it or not, you are inspiring others.
• Breathe. Enjoy the journey. 

Happy Running!

Discovering My Strengths

About a month ago, we had a work project within my sales team to find what each individual's unique talents and strengths were. The book we used, Now, Discover Your Strengths, gives you a code to go online to take a personality and strengths finder test  and from the evaluation shows your Top 5 traits. 

There are 34 traits, what they call themes, and range anywhere from Developer to Futuristic to Restorative. (Click here to see the summary of the themes). I took the test before I read the book, so I had no presumptions of what the themes were and couldn't choose my answers to sway the results one way or the other (if my test results came out with "perfect in every way", I think someone would get suspicious).

The test was tough. I'm not sure what that says about my personality, hopefully that I'm well rounded and not just indecisive. You get about 10 seconds to answer each question, and they're weird questions with multiple answers that you feel all could describe you. But you can only choose one. 

They tell you to not think about it and choose the one that is your first instinct. So I just went with it. If the results turned out that I was irresponsible and disrespectful and an all around unpleasant human being, well, I guess my secret would be out.

At the end of the test, I got my top 5 themes and a detailed explanation of each: 

Includer

"Stretch the circle wider". This is the philosophy around which you orient your life. You want to include people and make them feel part of the group. In direct contrast to those who are drawn only to exclusive groups, you actively avoid those groups that exclude others.  You hate the sight of someone on the outside looking in. You want to draw them in so that they can feel the warmth of the group. You are an instinctively accepting person. Regardless of race or sex or nationality or personality or faith, you cast few judgements. Judgements can hurt a person's feelings. Why do that if you don't have to? Your accepting nature does not necessarily rest on a belief that each of us is different and that one should respect these differences. Rather, it rests on your conviction that fundamentally we are all the same. We are all equally important. Thus, no one should be ignored. Each of us should be included. It is the least we all deserve.

Positivity

You are generous with praise, quick to smile, and always on the lookout for the positive in the situation.Some call you lighthearted. Others just wish that their glass were as full as yours seem to be. But either way, people want to be around you. Their world looks better around you because your enthusiasm is contagious. Lacking your energy and optimism, some find their world drab with repetition, or worse, heavy with pressure. You seem to find a way to lighten their spirit. You inject drama into every project. You celebrate every achievement. you find ways to make everything more exciting and more vital. Some cynics may reject your energy, but you are rarely dragged down. Your positivity won't allow it. Somehow you can't quite escape your conviction that it is good to be alive, that work can be fun, and that no matter what the setbacks, one must never lose one's sense of humor.

Someone once bought me a shirt that said "violently happy". It's the perfect phrase for me.

Achiever 

Your achiever theme helps explain your drive. Achiever describes a constant need for achievement. You feel as if every day starts at zero. By the end of the day you must achieve something tangible in order to feel good about yourself. And by "every day" you mean every single day -- workdays, weekends, vacations. No matter how much you may feel you deserve a day of rest, if the day passes without some form of achievement, no matter how small, you will feel dissatisfied. You have an internal fire burning inside you that pushes you to do more, to achieve more. After each accomplishment is reached, the fire dwindles for a moment, but very soon it rekindles itself, forcing you toward the next accomplishment. Your relentless need for achievement might not be logical. It might not even be focused. But it will always be with you. As an achiever you must learn to live with this whisper of discontent. It does have its benefits. It brings you the energy you need to work long hours without burning out. It is the jolt you can always count on to get you started on new tasks, new challenges. It is the power supply that causes you to set the pace and define the levels of productivity for your work group. It is the theme that keeps you moving.

Harmony

You look for areas of agreement. In your view there is little to be gained from conflict and friction, so you seek to hold them to a minimum. When you know that the people around you hold differing views, you try to find the common ground. You try to steer them away from confrontation and toward harmony. In fact, harmony is one of your guiding values. You can't quite believe how much time is wasted by people trying to impose their views on others. Wouldn't we all be more productive if we kept our opinions in check and instead looked for consensus and support? You believe we would, and you live by that belief. When others are sounding off about their goals, their claims, and their fervently held opinions, you hold your peace. When others strike out in a direction, you will willingly, in the service of harmony, modify your own objectives to merge with theirs (as long as their basic values do not clash with yours). When others start to argue about their pet theory or concept, you steer clear of the debate, preferring to talk about practical, down-to-earth matters on which you can all agree. In your view we are all in the same boat, and we need this boat to get where we are going. It is a good boat. There is no need to rock it just to show that you can.

I avoid drama at all costs, steer clear of debates, and try to find common ground between everyone. It's almost embarrassing. Some may view it as weak, but I view it as why can't everyone just leave everyone else alone and be nice?

Responsibility

Your responsibility theme forces you to take psychological ownership for anything you commit to, and whether large or small, you feel emotionally bound to follow it through to completion. Your good name depends on it. If for some reason you cannot deliver, you automatically start to look for ways to make it up to the other person. Apologies are not enough. Excuses and rationalizations are totally unacceptable. You will not quite be able to live with yourself until you have made restitution. This conscientiousness, this near obsession for doing things right, and your impeccable ethics, combine to create your reputation: utterly dependable. When assigning new responsibilities, people will look to you first because they know it will get done. When people come to you for help - and they soon will - you must be selective. Your  willingness to volunteer may sometimes lead you to take on more than you should.

I always take on more than I should. Maybe I'm not so proud of that, but you can at least depend on me and my "impeccable ethics"....cough cough.... (hey they said it, not me!)

Out of the list of themes, which five do you think best describe you? 

If you took the test, were there any themes you were surprised by that you got or didn't get?