You Might Be A Runner If......

Jeff Foxworthy is hilarous to me. His "You Might Be A Redneck If..." series used to make me laugh so hard I'd cry. Mostly because it was all kinda true and I would witness some of  it on a daily basis in my home state of Alabama.

Recently on my long runs I've thought of amusing things that runners do that seem normal to us, but abnormal to the rest of the world. Here's my list, and feel free to add more. I will update the list regularly if I think of something I left off.

You might be a runner if....

• You hesitate to spend $20 on a new pair of heels, but dropping $120 on running shoes is no big deal
• You spend more time on Map My Run, Active.com, and Runners World blogs than you do on Facebook
• Your load of laundry consists of 10 days worth of training gear and sweat towels and only one day's worth of "normal" clothes
• You don't get pedicures because you want to keep the calluses on your feet
• Your number of toes to toenails does not match
• You and the stick and/or foam roller are in a very serious love/hate relationship
• The first thing you think about when traveling out of town is "Where am I going to do my run?"
• You keep a backup pair of running shoes in the trunk of your car, just in case
• You have Nuun tablets and a bottle of ibuprofen on you at all times
• You see hills and get excited at the thought of doing speedwork on them
• You frequently find parts of Gu packets in your washing machine
• You have chaffing scars in strange places from not utilizing your body glide properly 
• You find yourself stretching in random establishments, such as in the elevator or in line at the store or while seated at a restaurant
• You are always hungry and feel like at any given moment you could eat an entire pizza by yourself
• You know what a snot rocket is and have mastered it
• You call all of your tank tops "Singlets", even if they're not
• You get extremely angry and feel disrespected if someone calls you a "jogger"
• Your idea of fun is waking up at 5AM on a Saturday, going to the track, and running 400's.... extra bonus fun points if it's raining
• You avoid junk food by looking at the nutrition label and calculating how many miles it would take to burn those calories off
• You want to lose 5 pounds, not to look better in your jeans but so that you'll be able to run faster
• You have at least 6 empty plastic water bottles in your car
• During injury, you're angrier you can't run than at the fact that your body is breaking down 
• You can say "fartlek" without giggling like a 10 year old
• You have a new definition to everyday words. To you, PR does not mean public relations, a chip does not mean food, IT does not mean information technology, Splits does not mean something you do in gymnastics, and Winning the Lottery does not mean hitting the jackpot
• You get jealous when you're driving in your car and go by a group of runners 
•  You mention that you're doing an easy 7-miler today, and you're serious
• You plan your vacations around races in various parts of the world
• You've been "high" but never done drugs
• 6 AM is sleeping in

Happy Running! 

One Day, You'll Understand

OK, I get it. 

I'm not a mom yet (except to Jadoo of course). But I get it. 

I get why you wouldn't let me go see a PG-13 movie until I was actually 13. 

Movies like that will ruin a young child's innocence. 

I get why you wouldn't let me play in the drainage ditch on Lakeview Drive with my friends. 

There's probably more bacteria in that ditch than on a dirty kitchen towel. 

I get why you wanted me home by 10pm on a Saturday night.

Nothing good ever happens after that time anyway. 

I get why you got so upset if I didn't call to say I was going to be late. 

This world is a scary place and you never know what could have happened. 

I get why you always made me eat my vegetables.  

Some kids these days don't know the first thing about a well balanced diet.

There are so many things I didn't understand at the time. I would get mad an occasionally through tantrums for not getting my way. 

Occasionally. 

And now looking back I'm so grateful for all of it. 

You juggled three kids' school/homework/soccer/band/ballet/track/piano lessons/church schedules and put up with all of the shenanigans that went with it, and then somehow still had time in between to make extravagant homemade birthday cakes and sew us new outfits and brighten up the house with holiday decor, all while having a home cooked meal on the table every night and cookie dough ice cream in the freezer for dessert. 

Miracle Worker. 

Happy Mother's Day to the best mom in the world! 

A Runner's High

A runner's high is hard to explain - it's this sense of euphoria, invincibility, and bliss that occurs when you get those endorphins pumping through your veins. I'll experience it every once in a while, especially on my super long 20-mile training runs and after I cross the finish line of a race.

 But typically never on short runs. And definitely not just spectating other people running.

Then yesterday happened.

It wasn't a big deal - New Balance was putting on this 1-mile race and my running club was participating. I thought sure, why not? It'll be fun and I've never really seen how fast I could go before.

They were doing shoe demos, so I figured I'd try out a super lightweight racing shoe. I've never raced in anything besides my training shoes (which feel like bricks in comparison to these New Balance 1400's) because I was freaked out by my overpronating feet and wanted to protect my knees from my non-existent arches.

They were sooooooo nice. It felt like I didn't have on shoes at all!

 

Oh, and the colors were pretty - we all know that's what really matters anyway.

The Elite runners were in the first heat, then the 6:30-7:30 pace group, then the 7:30 and above pace group.  

I've never watched people who could run as fast as they did in the elite group- the guy came in first ran it in 4:15-ish. I couldn't hear the official time because I was so freaked out at his inhuman capabilities. 

Once I get official times, I'll let y'all know. 

My friend Beth ran it in 5:33 --  the second fastest female there.

Yea, I know her. It's OK to be jealous.

At this point I am SO pumped for these 4 laps. And also a little freaked out. What should my pace be? What happens if I go out too fast and end up collapsing and embarrassing myself in front of all these people?

Holy crap, Mary, it's a fun run. Take a deep breath and simmer down for goodness sake. 

So off I went - first 400 done, and I felt pretty good. 

Second 400 done, still felt good, so stepped up my pace a little. 

Third 400 done, and I was creeping up in my group like a ninja. 

Halfway through the last lap I let it all out and started sprinting with whatever energy I had left. 

The last 100 meters or so, I snuck up on everyone like the Kentucky Derby's I'll Have Another and finished the first female overall! 

6:22 was my unofficial time. And I think I could have maybe gone faster.

They gave me a gift card to New Balance for being the first female in my group. 

New running shorts? I think yes. 

The only thing going through my head the entire rest of the night was 

OMG I LOVE RUNNING THIS IS THE BEST SPORT EVER!!!! 

As I begin to take on my marathon training schedule, this is exactly what I needed.

So, runners high from watching fast people? It can totally happen.

And prizes always help too.

I'll Never Forget

April 27th will never be "just another day" in the minds of Alabamians. It will forever be a feeling in the pit of our stomachs that emerges at the faintest threat of another tornado.

 -Kathleen Davis, weather.com

I'll never forget that Wednesday afternoon. 
Sitting around on my lunch break, checking twitter updates on my phone. 

I'll never forget seeing the tweet about a tornado heading for Cullman.

 I'll never forget being in my office, freaking out, watching James Spann's live report of the tornado ripping through the city.

I'll never forget the pit in my stomach that wouldn't go away. That feeling of hopelessness, sadness, and fear for my loved ones and friends.

I'll never forget calling  my best friend Jackie from Cullman to make sure her family was OK, even though she now lived in Tuscaloosa and was "safe".

I'll never forget  later that afternoon sending Jackie weather updates via text as she sat in a basement in Tuscaloosa, living out the nightmare-ish day first hand.

I'll never forget Prateek and I packing up his truck to take supplies to my ravaged hometown and driving the 11 hours overnight, pulling into Cullman at 6AM. 

I'll never forget seeing Jackie's house for the first time-- half blown down, but her and her family all standing there alive and well, picking up the pieces.

I'll never forget staring at the remnants of my church's Sanctuary. Or trying to remember what once stood on those empty city blocks.

You don't really understand how devastating it is until you're standing in the middle of the rubble.  And you don't really understand the sense of a community pulling together for a common good, until even after going through such tragedy, you can still feel the warmth of a neighbor's good heart.

 

May this day never be forgotten by our community, and may it always remind us how strong of a state we live in.

God Bless Alabama, my Heart of Dixie! 

 

Happy Birthday, Blog!

It was a year ago today that I began my journey into blogger and created my very first blog post.

I wasn't sure where it would take me, but what a crazy first year it's been! 

85 posts and almost 9,000 views later, (seriously? that is so cool!) I've taken you through the joys, sorrows, and trials and tribulations of my world. 

You read about my hometown getting ripped apart by a tornado, then picking up the pieces and putting itself back together. 

You read about my running life, from my injuries to my belly-aching to my very first marathon.

I took you on journeys with all of my traveling, from road trips to Boston to Calgary to California to New York to Miami to Cozumel to Vegas and back. 

 

I filled you in on my attempts at DIY activities, from Halloween costumes to holiday foods to sewing projects.

Whether it be from sincere enjoyment, pure boredom, or bewilderment on how I survive day-to-day life without adult supervision, thank you for being here and reading my posts.

I can't wait to see what the second year has in store! 

Love-Hate Relationships

Sewing is a funny thing. You look at a pattern, or a DIY project on Pinterest, or an item someone created on Etsy, and you think "Wow, I could totally make that, it looks so easy!". So you set forth in your quest to the fabric store to make your DIY dreams come true. 

Sew many projects, Sew little time. Get it??? I'm so punny.

Then, four hours later, after spending $50 at the store on a project that's supposed to save you money, and then cutting and sewing and seam ripping and re-sewing and cursing your sewing machine and everything else around you, you've decided you hate sewing and crafting and you vow never to do anything so ridiculous again.

 Then you finish your project and all of a sudden you're all "WOW, I LOVE SEWING!".

My new motto is it's not a good day's worth of sewing if you don't use at least two or three choice words or expletives.

Last week my fabulous friend Esther decided it was about time that some of the girls got together for a sewing night. We chose to create skirts out of a pattern that called itself  "The One Hour Skirt" - you can find it here.  While I had never made an article of clothing before, I felt reassured knowing I'd be in the presence of Esther and our other marvelous friend Carrie, who are both much craftier and artistic than I ever dream to be. I figured if my skirt ended up being disastrous, they could give me tips on how to use my seam ripper to at least salvage some of the pieces. 

Nevertheless, the one-hour skirt took about three. And it also took a night of me wearing it around the house, all pinned up, to figure out how I wanted to tweak it so it fit correctly. 

Just so you know -  the one hour skirt uses way too much fabric, in my opinion. I looked like a pregnant balloon. I ended up unstitching the two main skirt pieces and cutting off a good 12 inches of fabric to make it more fitted.

Then I got this bright idea the next day to make a matching clutch, since I had spare fabric.

 I found a pattern I liked called "A Simple Clutch". 

 It should have been called "A Challenging Clutch for Ambitious Novices".

It was back to the fabric store to get this stuff called interfacing that I had never used before. There are about 100 different kinds of interfacing, all with different numbers. Mine needed a  950F and a Peltex 71F, whatever that means. Maybe someday I'll learn what all of that means.

Or not.

I toted my items back home and began my simple clutch. After a few choice words, I finished up the clutch project I began at noon that day just in time to get ready to go to dinner that night - you bet your sweet hiney I wore my matching skirt and clutch! 

The ladies

 

         

I got fancy and made a contrasting interior with pocket. 

Oh and please excuse the wet spot on my slightly protruding belly. I had just eaten a massive pasta dinner to prepare for the half marathon, and got spaghetti sauce on my shirt. 

Story of my life. 

The following day was the Iron Girl Half Marathon. Another great love/hate relationship example. 

I've been training in general...not really for this particular half, but mostly just to get myself back in shape after the three months I took off this winter. This half marathon was a good way to make sure I was on the right track and give me a goal to work towards.

The weather had called for 70% chance of rain all week, up until the night before when it dropped to a 30% chance. We got there and the skies were fairly clear, so I was feeling confident. 

I had a few butterflies in my stomach at the starting line, but nothing like previous races. I just wanted to finish at a decent time and try to avoid falling over the side of the causeway into the Gulf of Mexico.

About 6 miles in, the winds began. Right before I hit the first bridge. Awesome.

As I was going up the Belleair Causeway into a brick wall of gale force wind gusts, I thought to myself 

"OMG I HATE RUNNING, WTF AM I DOING ON THIS BRIDGE AT 8AM ON A SUNDAY MORNING IN THIS GOD FORSAKEN WIND??"

Then the sideways rain kicked in around mile 10, right before the Sand Key Bridge. 

"OMG I REALLY HATE RUNNING NOW, I AM NEVER RACING AGAIN, BLAH BLAH BLAH".

 I really can't wait to see my race photos. I promise to share them. There are going to be some winners... with my disgust in the strong headwinds after going over two giant bridges, mixed with Skrillex on my playlist, I must look like a total beast.

 I couldn't see the finish line, which annoyed me because I always sprint to the finish at my races to shave off a good 15-30 seconds. It turns out the big inflatable finish line banner got blown down by the wind. Bummer.

 I still crossed the finish line in a respectable time - 1:51. Not a PR, but not my worst time, so I'll take it, especially seeing as I was in the top 5% finishers! 

As I crossed, I thought "OMG I LOVE RUNNING!! I FEEL AMAZING! I CANT WAIT TO RACE AGAIN! WOOOO!"

Seriously, am I bipolar or what? 

And then when my friend Christine crossed the finish line in her goal time of sub-2, I loved running even more! Congrats Christine, you rock and I knew you would conquer those bridges!

And how awesome are my race day shorts?? It's OK to be jealous.

Next up? Chicago Marathon training begins. I have no doubt that I will hate it, but love it at the same time.

Hold onto your britches, it's gonna be a long summer! 

No Rest for the Wicked

It didn't really sink in that I was headed to Sin City until we actually got to the airport to leave.

In previous years' trips to Vegas, I had planned my outfits weeks in advance and bought Vegas-specific attire. I had gone onto the website of the hotel (where we had made reservations at least a few months in advance) and educated myself on the ins and outs of what it offered so I knew the hotel like the back of my hand.

 This year, I waited until the night before to pack, didn't know the agenda of the trip, didn't know my flight information, and didn't even know where we were staying until the day we left.  It wasn't until I changed into my wedge heels and white skinny jeans to get ready for the airport that it finally started to get exciting! (Yes, I always wear Vegas-specific outfits to the LAS airport. Go ahead, judge me.)

We checked in at the Southwest gate, only to find Governor Rick Scott doing a "Let's Get to Work Day" and tagging bags at the kiosk! I was a little star struck so had to get a photo. 

We boarded the flight, but were delayed leaving as our very own President of the United States was departing from the Tampa Airport at the same time. So, I got to watch Air Force One take off! 

Although not as organized as I typically like to be, Las Vegas never disappoints - we saw Avicii at XS, went shopping at the Miracle Mile, enjoyed pool time at Cosmopolitan (with tragic bachelorette party girls keeping us entertained),  ate tapas out of a shoe at Jaleo,went to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris, and ate ourselves into a coma at The Buffet in the Bellagio after watching the fountains. Among other things, but those are the highlights.

Avicii

Jaleo

Dinner - Cosmopolitan

Top of the Eiffel Tower

Meandering past the Strip

Bellagio

 This trip taught me that sometimes being OCD about organization is not always necessary if you're in the right company. Even though I may or may not have already looked at hotels for next year.

I also think it would be really stellar to run the Rock N Roll Marathon or Half Marathon up and down the Vegas strip in December. It's an evening race and it would be so magnificent to run past all the lights and the casinos! I'm keeping that one on my radar.

See you soon, Las Vegas - whether it be this year or next!