Thursday, May 2, 2013

Uncertainty Is The Refuge Of Hope

Well, here we go.

Everyone knew it was coming. It was only a matter of time.

One of those awful words that we all hate has creeped into my vocabulary once more.

DOUBT.

I chose Bachelor #2 from my Marathon Dating Game . The Newport Marathon is now only 30 days away. I committed to it, registered, bought my flight, and reserved a hotel. 
Every time I mention the Oregon Coast, people collectively oooh and aaah over how beautiful it is, so I feel confident in my decision. If nothing else, it sounds like will be a great weekend getaway from the Florida humidity.

There is one thing I don't feel confident in. 
My legs.

Some days I feel awesome. 
Like, I am going to eat 26 miles for breakfast and then go back for seconds awesome.
 Others I feel really slow and weak and pitiful and can barely muster up the energy to finish three miles.

On my 20-miler last weekend, I don't' know that I could have physically gone another 6.2. 
That scares me. 
Even on my 6 miler this morning, I was exhausted after I finished. 

I want to push myself hard. But am I pushing too hard? Am I expecting too much? 
Did I get too arrogant after my 1:37 half marathon PR in Sarasota this year and think this would be a piece of cake? 


My previously-stated goal from a few posts ago remains the same.

  The goal is to push myself hard and see where I stand in the 2013 quest for marathon speed.
 If I crash and burn, that's OK. I'll have all summer and the beginning of fall to get ready for an attempt at chasing the 3:35 pace group in Twin Cities come October. 

Now I just have to remind myself of that goal. 

And that sometimes you have to risk crashing and burning to know what you're capable of. 

And that there are always more chances. 

Right? 












4 comments:

  1. As my Daddy always says "Can't means won't." You got this, you can do this, and you are going to do GREAT!!!! :D

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  2. Even if you are tired after a 6 miler, you are crushing your pace. Seems like some smart lady told me one time.. "Running 6 miles shouldn't feel good." Great advice, huh? I have no doubt that you are going to KILL your goals. Sometimes, we need doubt to show up and bring us back to reality for a little bit just so we can prove that bitch wrong. :)

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  3. This happens to me too; sometimes I feel like I could fly through a long run and other times I keep thinking I want to stop. But you ARE a runner and you know however you feel, you're going to finish and feel amazing afterwards.

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